Whenever friends tell me about how stressful it is having a new baby, I generally laugh and shake my head. It's only stressful because their kids aren't older yet. I am the proud "owner" of a sixteen year old daughter and a stepson of a similar age. I also have a fourteen year old, but she lives with her mother in Canada.
Great kids, work hard at school - which they love, and they are very kind and decent people.
Unfortunately they don't want to be locked in the house when they aren't in school. Apparently they think they are entitled to a social life. Last Friday night they went to a party at a social centre in South London. They took the train and we agreed we would order a taxi for them to come home.
First there was the negotiation via text message about the "closing time" when the taxi was to pick them up. Back and forth ... What logic is there in setting a leaving time other than the opinion and judgement of the parent? It's not like there is scientific measurment or anything. So finally I told them it was 1.30 and to get back to the party, enjoy themselves and stop trying to negotiate! What an exercise in time wasting. Arghh!
Anyway, my wife has a bit of sixth sense and although she is always worried when the kids are out, sometimes she has an extra bad feeling. Friday was one of those nights, but they got the taxi on schedule and were on the way home as expected. I guess she was wrong then.
They came to the door a little after two a.m. I opened the door and that's when I saw his face.
Three different bumps and bruises and some scrapes. He bumped into a guy at the club, spilling some of his drink and the guy gave him a few quick shots to the face. My son's friends and the crowd in general grabbed the guy and he got thrown out. Turns out the injuries were very superficial and today are almost all gone. While we were sorry that he got hurt, we were glad he didn't get into a fight with the guy because that is how things escalate with knives, broken glass, etc. and things can turn nasty.
Saturday night we looked after our 2 year old niece. The biggest issue we faced was reading her extra bedtime stories and listening to the Iggle Piggle theme song about a thousand times.
Yeah, those babies can be a real worry!
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4 comments:
Man, i'm sorry your kids got smacked up. Mykids aren't nearly old enough to be out and about in clubs until after midnight yet, as my eldest boy is only 9 years I have a while to wait, but I remember seeing my mother's face when I walked in at hell knows what hour with my faced smashed up after a night out.
The worry, shock and sadness I saw in her eyes caused more pain for me than the bruises and cuts.
I feel bad for you as parents, and for you boy too.
I hope he gets well soon.
Thanks for your thoughts - he has healed really well and quickly. I know we all went through it ourselves (and put our parents through the wringer) but it feels like the world is a scarier place. Is that me just understanding the situation better than when I was a kid, or is the world more dangerous? I think both are true.
I don't really think the world is anymore dangerouse today than it ever has been, but I do believe that as you grow older you learn to fear more, and to be shocked by more. For instance, today I would never climb a tree to the highest branch as I would have quite happily done 10 years (or more) ago, not because it is any more dangerous these days, but because I have a greater understanding of the consequences should I fall.
In the same way, the world today seems scarier and more dangerous because as adults we have a greater knowledge of the risks associated with pretty much any situation, and the consequences of many actions, therefore it seems a great deal more dire to us when our children become hurt, or when they place themselves in a dangerous situation, than when we ourselves did the same at their age.
Basically, you (and I) are getting old!
My kids are 9 and 6, and believe me, I can wait until they are 16 :)
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